Monday, March 23, 2009

A Season of Lasts

As I sit here at work (I didn't take a lunch hour so I don't feel too guilty writing this on company time) Angie is playing what will probably be her last high school soccer game. Jack has called a couple times with updates. The Lady Raiders are behind 2 to 0 and it is killing me not to be there. However, it is probably for the best. I know I would stand in the bleachers and bawl. Not because they may lose, but because I'll never get to watch Angie play soccer again. I've been watching her play soccer since she was 4 years old. She insisted on having number 4 on her first jersey because she was 4. That was her number for years. As she grew, she was never the star, but she was always a solid, contributing team member. She took it more seriously than most but not too seriously like some. It was a good activity for her. I'm sad to see it end.

We've had lots of "lasts" this year; last cross country meet, last Youth in Government trial, buying the last formal for a dance, last Youth Sunday and soon we'll have the last CTCYM Mission Trip. In typical Jo (and Holladay sister) fashion, I've cried at each one, embarrassing Angie and giving Jack and Addie something to razz me about.

I think I am taking these lasts so hard because I am so very proud of what they represent. They represent the woman she is becoming. Angie is everything I was not at eighteen. She is confident, committed, intellectual, sweet, funny, unpretentious. I could go on and on but Roget's Thesaurus only has a finite number of words for the concept.

If you see me in the next few months with tears streaming down my face for no apparent reason, just know that I have probably realized another "last" has just happened. Just pat me on the shoulder and remind me that I won't have to do this again for five years. Poor Addie, I will be a total basket case when it is time for her lasts.


1 comment:

Linda Buttram said...

Jo, You are such a wonderful mother bird...
This essay brought back memories of my kids' senior years. As you probably remember, I was a basket case myself...all three times.
But I have to disagree with you on one point, I didn't know you when you were 18, but I did get to know you when you were 19. And you WERE and still ARE confident, committed, intellectual, sweet, funny and unpretentious. So where do you think Angie got all of that if not from you and Jack!!
Angie is one of those young people that we all love and admire. I can't wait to see what comes next.
With love and nostalgia,